When people say angel, most think of long white robes, huge wings, and halos. Not all angels look like this. As a matter of fact, most angels do not look like this. God sends angels to us everyday. Did anyone ever find your wallet and give it back? Did you ever lose something and have someone find it for you? Have you ever just needed a friend and all of the sudden there is a stanger with and ear and a shoulder to lean on, and then they are gone again?
When my mother was dying in the hospital, it was two hours away from home. I had no family to speak of for local support. I was all alone. I won't even lie and say the nurses were great, because they weren't. I think they worked so long in this Intensive care unit that they became numb to hysterical family members. I also have to be honest, my mental stability is not really all that strong.
I get a call one morning while I was in class at college, the doctor told me they were doing CPR on my mom and I should come up right away. I did. I never felt so lonely and alone in my life. When I got to the hospital, the nurses met me at the entrance to the unit and said I would have to have a seat in the waiting room. Since it took me two hours to get there, I had no idea if she was alive or dead. As I sat in the waiting room, pondering the fate of my best friend, I just lost it. Over came a woman who I had never seen before, and I was there a lot. She put her arms around me, prayed with me, and put my head on her shoulder. She stayed with me until the nurses finally came to get me.
I never got this woman's name, or the patient she was there to see, I just remember the kindness and sympathy in her face. My mom was on life support, and I made the decision to disconnect because it was what mom had wanted. Once this decision was made, I was able to contact the rest of my family, my kids, my uncle, my aunt, and mom's best friend. They were there immediately from all different areas of the coast and the west. Now I was no longer alone, yes still lonely but not alone.
Once everything was done and my mom passed, I still remember that angel's face, the woman in the waiting room. If it had not been for her I think I would have just fallen to pieces. It was her kindness and caring and helped me make it through the day to pull everyone together. I never saw here again. Was this woman an actual angel? Yes, she didn't have wings, she didn't have a halo, but she was a bright and shiny angel to me. I am sure God sent her to help me.
Sometimes we run into angels in our everday lives and we just don't recognize them. They are in the postman who special delivers your mail to you because he knows you are sick, they are in your neighbor who brings you food when they are sure you haven't eaten. They are in that driver who pulled over and helped change your tire. They are even the stranger who gave you kind word without ever knowing that you really needed it.
Remember, God loves all of us and he knows when we need that extra bit of support. Please feel free to share you contact with angels with me. I'd love to hear your story.
God Bless.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
There are kids starving in China and other nonsensical sayings
Since eternity people have always had these sayings that have passed from one generation to another. Some of them we swear we will never say to our children and then one day, oops, those words are pouring out your lips and you run to a mirror because you are horrified at what you said. Was that your mother or was it really you? Parents are the only ones, but let's face facts many of the sayings we know as adults came to us in the form of a parental punishment, encouragement, or silliness.
Let's examine some of those sayings and just what they really mean to us. "Eat your food, there are kids starving in China." Yes, that is one I swore I would never use on my children and I didn't I really didn't. First of all there are kids starving all over the world. Second, if I eat all the food on my plate how does that help those kids? My thought was, there would be less food for them it I eat it. Third, my initial reaction to this was to tell my mom to put it in a box and send it to them because I didn't want it. This statement did not get me to eat my food only to ponder the complexities of the question.
"No sense crying over spilt milk" Well there is at least one thing that really make this invalid. If I actually spilled milk, my grandmother would yell at me, that was enough to make me cry. So yes, I did cry over spilled milk. Now I know most of you are saying that's not what that means. But it does set a premise for why I think this statement is ridiculuous. If you want to look at what this saying really means, it means there is no sense crying, complaining or being depressed about things in the past that cannot change. Actually, it is not up to other people to tell me not to cry over the past. I can cry over anything I want, and I realized I cannot change the past, but does that mean I can't regret stupid decisions I made or things I didn't do? Yes, I will cry over spilt milk. Why don't you go "cry in your beer?"
That's just water under the bridge" this saying was approached in the Abbott and Costello movie Abbott and Costello Meet the Killer. I love picking things apart and Lou Costello and Bud Abbott really handled this job for me. Water under what bridge? Isn't water suppose to go under a bridge and not over it? Why would something be called water under the bridge when there is no water and no bridge involved? Why can't people just say that is in the past? Yes it is in the past. It works the same as saying "that's just water under the bridge."
"Rubbing salt in the wound" Wow imagine that, I know if I get salt in a paper cut it hurts like hell. When someone is feeling bad and another person says something that isn't the brightest thing to say and makes them feel worse they say "they are rubbing salt in the wound" Now I am no fan of torture but nothing a person says can hurt as bad as the torture of cutting someone and actually rubbing salt in the wound. Yes words hurt, but in comparison to physical injury the pains are completely different, they can both be utterly painful, but salt in a wound is a physical pain not a mental one. So therefore, comparing a mental pain to rubbing salt in a wound is a little out there. Oh don't go thinking I don't know what this means, I do, just "take it with a grain of salt."
So there is my take on just a few of the silly sayings that have come into use. Guess we need to find out where, exactly, they started.
Let's examine some of those sayings and just what they really mean to us. "Eat your food, there are kids starving in China." Yes, that is one I swore I would never use on my children and I didn't I really didn't. First of all there are kids starving all over the world. Second, if I eat all the food on my plate how does that help those kids? My thought was, there would be less food for them it I eat it. Third, my initial reaction to this was to tell my mom to put it in a box and send it to them because I didn't want it. This statement did not get me to eat my food only to ponder the complexities of the question.
"No sense crying over spilt milk" Well there is at least one thing that really make this invalid. If I actually spilled milk, my grandmother would yell at me, that was enough to make me cry. So yes, I did cry over spilled milk. Now I know most of you are saying that's not what that means. But it does set a premise for why I think this statement is ridiculuous. If you want to look at what this saying really means, it means there is no sense crying, complaining or being depressed about things in the past that cannot change. Actually, it is not up to other people to tell me not to cry over the past. I can cry over anything I want, and I realized I cannot change the past, but does that mean I can't regret stupid decisions I made or things I didn't do? Yes, I will cry over spilt milk. Why don't you go "cry in your beer?"
That's just water under the bridge" this saying was approached in the Abbott and Costello movie Abbott and Costello Meet the Killer. I love picking things apart and Lou Costello and Bud Abbott really handled this job for me. Water under what bridge? Isn't water suppose to go under a bridge and not over it? Why would something be called water under the bridge when there is no water and no bridge involved? Why can't people just say that is in the past? Yes it is in the past. It works the same as saying "that's just water under the bridge."
"Rubbing salt in the wound" Wow imagine that, I know if I get salt in a paper cut it hurts like hell. When someone is feeling bad and another person says something that isn't the brightest thing to say and makes them feel worse they say "they are rubbing salt in the wound" Now I am no fan of torture but nothing a person says can hurt as bad as the torture of cutting someone and actually rubbing salt in the wound. Yes words hurt, but in comparison to physical injury the pains are completely different, they can both be utterly painful, but salt in a wound is a physical pain not a mental one. So therefore, comparing a mental pain to rubbing salt in a wound is a little out there. Oh don't go thinking I don't know what this means, I do, just "take it with a grain of salt."
So there is my take on just a few of the silly sayings that have come into use. Guess we need to find out where, exactly, they started.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Doctor Doctor did you miss something?
My mom passed aways last September. She had a double lung transplant in February 2007 and had not been real well since. Prior to her hospitalization for the transplant she had been in the hospital for six months. My daughter had a baby on the way and my mother wanted to live to see the baby. That was her goal. She did just that. She lived to see theBri'onna Lyn born May 1, 2007. She even got to see her 1st birthday. Her second was never to be seen. Bri'onna is going to miss a lot, her grandma was a strong wonderful person and she loved Bri'onna more than life itself.
During the six months my mother spent her time on a ventilator. Yes, she had a living will and should never have been put on the ventilator to begin with. My mother never remembered anything about that day she went to the emergency room. The emergency room doctor asked my mother is she wished to be put on a ventilator and she said yes because he told her it would only be temporary until they could stabilize her. My mother had no recollection of this at all. After she said yes they told me I could come in the emergency room, after leaving me out there all alone for over an hour. No one even kept me updated on her condition during that hour. When finally I got to see her they let me in just long enough to ask her: Is that what you really want and tell her I love her. That was the only thing I said and they pushed me out of the room.
After my mother was put in the intensive care unit I was finally allowed to see her after another couple of hours of waiting. I was there everyday for five days. Without asking me they inserted a feeding tube. Yes, again my mother had a living will and would not have wanted that. On day five she was to be airlifted to the hospital where her transplant doctor practiced. (I guess I should be calling him God, as he believed himself to be the one and only doctor his patients would ever need again) I was suppose to be called prior to the helicopter crew taking her away, but sadly I was not called until she was in the air.
Mom arrived at the transplant hospital, she was in critical condition. Her transplant doctor would not give up on her. I thought is was because he cared, I later found out my mother was nothing more than a study subject for an article he wrote for the American Medical Journal. After 30 days on the ventilator my mother was no longer a candidate for transplant I did not know this until I did some studying on the internet about this and that was not until I read about his study.
My mother was a strong woman with a strong will to live, she never gave up fighting. After her transplant her her long struggle at recovery my mother was angry with me. She said her living will specifically stated no ventilator and no tube feeding. I did tell the doctors that in the emergency room but they said they asked her and she said yes. She was not coherent she didn't understand what she was being asked.
Why do I tell you this? Because the doctors missed the most important part of her care, me, her daughter. Why do I say I was part of the care process? The stress on the family of those who are sick, especially critically ill deserves attention too. There were several things that occurred during her care that the hospital and doctor's failed to call me and tell me about including a change in mental status during her last hospitalization that started her slow steady decline.
Doctors seem to lack training in recognizing when family members are starting to become patients. I don't mean that they should treat the family member in the way that their primary care physician should but they should be able to recognize developing problems with the immediate family. Problems that the family members may not recognize themselves. I was my mother's only visitor, she was two hours away from me, I worked a full time job and attended college full time and still made it my business to go up to see her at least once a week if not more.
I realize now the stress that put on my health. My mother's doctor should have recognized the signs of the enormous stress being placed on me. I kept thinking I was okay and handling everything well. I have no brothers or sisters to lean on it was me and only me. I needed help and my mothers doctor knowing I was the only one should have been able to recognize the signs of someone needing help. The doctor was aware of bipolar condition, I know now that my mental condition was deteriorating slowly with my mother's condition. If her doctor took the time to notice me, he could have referred me to a support group, but her doctor was too busy playing God. No that's not true because God would have noticed me.
During the six months my mother spent her time on a ventilator. Yes, she had a living will and should never have been put on the ventilator to begin with. My mother never remembered anything about that day she went to the emergency room. The emergency room doctor asked my mother is she wished to be put on a ventilator and she said yes because he told her it would only be temporary until they could stabilize her. My mother had no recollection of this at all. After she said yes they told me I could come in the emergency room, after leaving me out there all alone for over an hour. No one even kept me updated on her condition during that hour. When finally I got to see her they let me in just long enough to ask her: Is that what you really want and tell her I love her. That was the only thing I said and they pushed me out of the room.
After my mother was put in the intensive care unit I was finally allowed to see her after another couple of hours of waiting. I was there everyday for five days. Without asking me they inserted a feeding tube. Yes, again my mother had a living will and would not have wanted that. On day five she was to be airlifted to the hospital where her transplant doctor practiced. (I guess I should be calling him God, as he believed himself to be the one and only doctor his patients would ever need again) I was suppose to be called prior to the helicopter crew taking her away, but sadly I was not called until she was in the air.
Mom arrived at the transplant hospital, she was in critical condition. Her transplant doctor would not give up on her. I thought is was because he cared, I later found out my mother was nothing more than a study subject for an article he wrote for the American Medical Journal. After 30 days on the ventilator my mother was no longer a candidate for transplant I did not know this until I did some studying on the internet about this and that was not until I read about his study.
My mother was a strong woman with a strong will to live, she never gave up fighting. After her transplant her her long struggle at recovery my mother was angry with me. She said her living will specifically stated no ventilator and no tube feeding. I did tell the doctors that in the emergency room but they said they asked her and she said yes. She was not coherent she didn't understand what she was being asked.
Why do I tell you this? Because the doctors missed the most important part of her care, me, her daughter. Why do I say I was part of the care process? The stress on the family of those who are sick, especially critically ill deserves attention too. There were several things that occurred during her care that the hospital and doctor's failed to call me and tell me about including a change in mental status during her last hospitalization that started her slow steady decline.
Doctors seem to lack training in recognizing when family members are starting to become patients. I don't mean that they should treat the family member in the way that their primary care physician should but they should be able to recognize developing problems with the immediate family. Problems that the family members may not recognize themselves. I was my mother's only visitor, she was two hours away from me, I worked a full time job and attended college full time and still made it my business to go up to see her at least once a week if not more.
I realize now the stress that put on my health. My mother's doctor should have recognized the signs of the enormous stress being placed on me. I kept thinking I was okay and handling everything well. I have no brothers or sisters to lean on it was me and only me. I needed help and my mothers doctor knowing I was the only one should have been able to recognize the signs of someone needing help. The doctor was aware of bipolar condition, I know now that my mental condition was deteriorating slowly with my mother's condition. If her doctor took the time to notice me, he could have referred me to a support group, but her doctor was too busy playing God. No that's not true because God would have noticed me.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Please don't give up on me
I have the misfortune of having rheumatoid arthritis with a touch of psoriatic arthritis mixed in for good measure. I also have the misfortune of having mental illness. Am I complaining? No, not really. I am making the most of everyday. People look at me and think that I look completely healthy. I get snide looks when I park in the handicapped spots. I have just been allowed to use my Mini Aussie Shepherd as a service dog. (don't let the word mini fool you. LOL} If not for my dog I really wouldn't leave my home often.
Everyday is a struggle for me. I struggle to get up. I struggle to take a shower, I even struggle to eat. Most people find this hard to believe or even think is possible. Getting out of bed in the morning is a physical and mental challenge. Why do I do it? My dogs and my cat, and even my fish, they need me. Yes, I have people that love me, but they NEED me. My joints are painful and stiff and mentally I have to stop and think about why I am doing this, but they need me.
Taking a shower is also a chore. It is painful to bend and stoup and sometimes to even wring a wash rag and forget turning the water on and off. But I do it. Why? Because I have some pride. Even if I am not leaving the house, I want to look like I feel better than I do. Mentally, there are times I really l don't care how I look, but I refuse to give in.
Eating, now here's the joke, I weigh over 200 lbs. Do you want to know what I ate today? A bagel and coffee. What did I eat yesterday? Half a hamburger from McDonald's some fries and juice. That was my entire days food. Looking at food disgusts me because I look in a mirror and all I see is someone that the America calls fat and ugly.
I have started as an Independent Mary Kay Consultant, I needed a reason to force myself out of the house or at least have people in. I am depressed most of the time. I have to think of reasons to do the most simple tasks. But I try. I know people always say to me, "but you have a family that loves you" I know that, but they are grown and have lives of their own. I live here without my family being close by and the only family I have here is my animals.
Not only do I do all this but I also volunteer for Siberian Husky Rescue of Florida and I will be volunteering for Aussie Shepherd Rescue. Of course I need to do all of this on my own time schedule. Some days I really just cannot move. My hands are very painful especially my right hand, and I am right handed. I cannot type or write a lot at one time. I am working with what God has given me. Even when I am sitting and sobbing for apparently no reason what so ever or I am having an anxiety attack I try to work through it.
My fuzzy kids are enough to keep me going for now. I just keep trying everyday. But if you try to call me or email me and I don't answer right away, I am probably taking a nap. I get awfully tired and sometimes just too much pain to type or hold a cellphone. But don't give up on me. I haven't.
Everyday is a struggle for me. I struggle to get up. I struggle to take a shower, I even struggle to eat. Most people find this hard to believe or even think is possible. Getting out of bed in the morning is a physical and mental challenge. Why do I do it? My dogs and my cat, and even my fish, they need me. Yes, I have people that love me, but they NEED me. My joints are painful and stiff and mentally I have to stop and think about why I am doing this, but they need me.
Taking a shower is also a chore. It is painful to bend and stoup and sometimes to even wring a wash rag and forget turning the water on and off. But I do it. Why? Because I have some pride. Even if I am not leaving the house, I want to look like I feel better than I do. Mentally, there are times I really l don't care how I look, but I refuse to give in.
Eating, now here's the joke, I weigh over 200 lbs. Do you want to know what I ate today? A bagel and coffee. What did I eat yesterday? Half a hamburger from McDonald's some fries and juice. That was my entire days food. Looking at food disgusts me because I look in a mirror and all I see is someone that the America calls fat and ugly.
I have started as an Independent Mary Kay Consultant, I needed a reason to force myself out of the house or at least have people in. I am depressed most of the time. I have to think of reasons to do the most simple tasks. But I try. I know people always say to me, "but you have a family that loves you" I know that, but they are grown and have lives of their own. I live here without my family being close by and the only family I have here is my animals.
Not only do I do all this but I also volunteer for Siberian Husky Rescue of Florida and I will be volunteering for Aussie Shepherd Rescue. Of course I need to do all of this on my own time schedule. Some days I really just cannot move. My hands are very painful especially my right hand, and I am right handed. I cannot type or write a lot at one time. I am working with what God has given me. Even when I am sitting and sobbing for apparently no reason what so ever or I am having an anxiety attack I try to work through it.
My fuzzy kids are enough to keep me going for now. I just keep trying everyday. But if you try to call me or email me and I don't answer right away, I am probably taking a nap. I get awfully tired and sometimes just too much pain to type or hold a cellphone. But don't give up on me. I haven't.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Let's just live and let live
You know, I am so tired of hearing about racism, prejudice and out right hatred I feel a need to speak out about color blindness. I don't mean that thing you fail at the eye doctor's office, I mean that separation of the races. White people and white government are blamed for the poor living conditions of the blacks, the blacks are blamed for all high crime rates, illegal immigrants are blamed for everything. Let's logically think about some of this and how much is simply not true.
First, I am not prejudiced nor am I a racist I am a realist and I look at facts not colors, therefore I am color blind. So I would like to start with a few questions.
First, I am not prejudiced nor am I a racist I am a realist and I look at facts not colors, therefore I am color blind. So I would like to start with a few questions.
1. Why can there be a Miss Black America?
2. Why is there a Black Entertainment Channel?
3. Why do all of our signs have to be in Spanish and English?
4. Why does Mexico have laws that forbid foreigners from owning beach front property, from government sponsored medical care and other government sponsored programs?
5. Why does the American Government allow the separation of ethnic groups?
For these questions I present arguments not conclusions. For question one, what would happen if there was a Miss Chinese America, a Miss Korean America, A Miss White America. Is it possible that by having a separate title for Miss Black America we just combine all the Miss America's into one group and just call them Miss America. Oh yes, this has already been thought of and it is called Miss America, but remember if I am white, Hispanic, Asian, or Native American, I cannot enter the Miss Black America Contest. But Miss America does not discriminate, Miss America can be of any race.
Black Entertainment Channel, Channels in Spanish only, these two things are a little ethnically condescending. These channels cater to their respective ethnicity, but all of the other channels show movies and series containing all of the above mentioned groups. I am not saying if you live in America speak American, what I am saying is that the government should pick a national language and stick to it. Don't make all of us too old to learn, learn a new language let's make all school children learn one language. And no, non English children should not be mainstreamed into a classroom until they have the language ability to keep up. Why are other children being held back so as not to lose the non English speaker and the non English speaker is not getting anything sitting in a classroom that they can't understand a word that is spoken.
Why should signs be in English and Spanish? There are multiple other languages spoken in America, there is French, Japanese, Chinese, Arabic, Italian, and German just to name a few. Why do the Hispanic speaking people get preference over the others? I don't care about the percentages, this is another reason one and only one language should be made the official language of the United States. If I go to France, will they accommodate me by posting all signs in English? In Spain, if I go to a store do they have special products for Americans? Then why must America cater to a specific ethnic group when we a nation of multiple ethnicity.
Mexico has some of the harshest immigration laws in the world including where foreigners can buy land. Yet we let their citizens into America and the government gives them everything they need. Why is that America feels the need to adopt other nation's problems? Who is going to help America if the time should come? America needs to worry about it's citizens and focus on making us a strong nation not militarily but a nation of strong people who are willing to fight for what they have. All the illegal immigrants, where will they be if a war should break out on America soil. Home would be looking pretty good to them then.
One last question, why does the government allow separation of ethnic groups. Why is that filling out a form requires me to answer white, white non Hispanic or Hispanic? What does that really have to do with anything? I am either American or not. If I am in Italy, I am either American or Italian, if I am in France I am either French or American. American is a nationality. When are we going to start treating it as such instead of worrying about where my ancestor came from?
Wake up America we are one nationality American, if you live here and are a citizen of the United States you are American, you are not Italian or French or Spanish, or Mexican, YOU ARE AMERICAN.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Wonderful Rainy Days
Oh wonderful beautiful rainy days, horror movies, popcorn, iced tea and a cat curled on my lap. Could you imagine anything more comforting? Now that is what I call living. Living isn't necessarily going out and surfing, skydiving, or riding a roller coaster, sometimes it's just those moments where you can sit back and smile and feel the comfort of your life.
It has taken me a while to realize that standing in my kitchen cooking a simple meal, watching my favorite TV show or just petting my dogs is living. Living is what you enjoy, things that make you feel good, things that bring you comfort. No one can help you live except yourself. You cannot depend on others for your happiness you have to create your own. If happy is standing in a kitchen cutting up vegetables for dinner then you are living life and happy, if stroking you cat while she's on your lap brings a smile and calmness to you then that is living.
People have the mistaken idea that living means doing things that you normally wouldn't do like jumping out of a perfectly good airplane. If this makes you happy then you are living life, but if just sitting and watching your favorite movies makes you happy then that is also living life. Everyone should live their lives. Doing things day in and day out that make you unhappy will make you miserable and can cause negative health conditions. Living loving and laughing is good for your mental health and physical health.
Please live, love and laugh everyday.
It has taken me a while to realize that standing in my kitchen cooking a simple meal, watching my favorite TV show or just petting my dogs is living. Living is what you enjoy, things that make you feel good, things that bring you comfort. No one can help you live except yourself. You cannot depend on others for your happiness you have to create your own. If happy is standing in a kitchen cutting up vegetables for dinner then you are living life and happy, if stroking you cat while she's on your lap brings a smile and calmness to you then that is living.
People have the mistaken idea that living means doing things that you normally wouldn't do like jumping out of a perfectly good airplane. If this makes you happy then you are living life, but if just sitting and watching your favorite movies makes you happy then that is also living life. Everyone should live their lives. Doing things day in and day out that make you unhappy will make you miserable and can cause negative health conditions. Living loving and laughing is good for your mental health and physical health.
Please live, love and laugh everyday.
Friday, May 15, 2009
My movie experience
Here it is Friday night and I am such a loser. I went to the movies, alone. But it was well worth it. I went to see Angels and Demons. Awesome movie. I recommend it to anyone who is a Tom Hanks fan. I won't say anything to ruin the movies for those who have not read the book, but for those of you who have, the main story is pretty true to the book, but the background story was left out.
I need to tell you what it was like to go to a small town theatre on an opening night. First, this theatre has the tendency to start movies late, a seven o'clock movie may not start until seven twenty. The movie is listed as being one hundred and forty minutes. So I realize by the third showing they still didn't know long the movie was. So here we stood waiting for the previous movie to end so we could go in and see the beginning.
As in all multi screen complexes there were teenagers running in and out. I want to congratulate security on stopping them from screen hopping. Before the movie started I prayed that they would realize they were in the wrong movie. This was not a movie for teenagers anyway. They probably won't understand most of it. They sat up front jumping around screaming and making stupid noises. Thank the good Lord they left before the movie started. This is the reason I generally only go to R-rated movies. NO TEENAGERS. Older ones are usually pretty good. But the thirteen to 15 crowd is pretty rowdy out in public.
Now I am into comfort as much as anybody, but come on, the guy behind me took off his shoes, and put his feet between my seat and my neighbors arms. She thought is was me and I though it was her. We looked at each other, realized it wasn't us and we both looked back at the same time. No I'm sorry, I hate feet especially stranger's feet and here they are on me. I said rather loudly "That's gross" needless to say everyone looked but him. He finally moved his feet and put them on the back of my chair and proceeded to kick my seat. The movie theatre was crowded and thank God for stadium seating.
All in all the movie was worth the trouble and thank you mom (someone's mom anyway) for threatening to leave the kids if they did movie into the movie they were suppose to be there to see. Of course, I feel bad for the people waiting to see the nine thirty movie, we didn't walk out until nine twenty-six.
I am still trying to figure out why the fire truck and the ambulance at the exit. Were they really expecting a stampede of the over 70 crowd? They could have been put to better use if they were directing traffic when it came time to leave. I will leave the story about my car for another blog. My car is an experience all in itself.
I need to tell you what it was like to go to a small town theatre on an opening night. First, this theatre has the tendency to start movies late, a seven o'clock movie may not start until seven twenty. The movie is listed as being one hundred and forty minutes. So I realize by the third showing they still didn't know long the movie was. So here we stood waiting for the previous movie to end so we could go in and see the beginning.
As in all multi screen complexes there were teenagers running in and out. I want to congratulate security on stopping them from screen hopping. Before the movie started I prayed that they would realize they were in the wrong movie. This was not a movie for teenagers anyway. They probably won't understand most of it. They sat up front jumping around screaming and making stupid noises. Thank the good Lord they left before the movie started. This is the reason I generally only go to R-rated movies. NO TEENAGERS. Older ones are usually pretty good. But the thirteen to 15 crowd is pretty rowdy out in public.
Now I am into comfort as much as anybody, but come on, the guy behind me took off his shoes, and put his feet between my seat and my neighbors arms. She thought is was me and I though it was her. We looked at each other, realized it wasn't us and we both looked back at the same time. No I'm sorry, I hate feet especially stranger's feet and here they are on me. I said rather loudly "That's gross" needless to say everyone looked but him. He finally moved his feet and put them on the back of my chair and proceeded to kick my seat. The movie theatre was crowded and thank God for stadium seating.
All in all the movie was worth the trouble and thank you mom (someone's mom anyway) for threatening to leave the kids if they did movie into the movie they were suppose to be there to see. Of course, I feel bad for the people waiting to see the nine thirty movie, we didn't walk out until nine twenty-six.
I am still trying to figure out why the fire truck and the ambulance at the exit. Were they really expecting a stampede of the over 70 crowd? They could have been put to better use if they were directing traffic when it came time to leave. I will leave the story about my car for another blog. My car is an experience all in itself.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Writing, is it for me?
Well here I am starting my adventure as a writer. I have always loved to write. My very first poem was written in first grade. I don't remember it now but I was told is was something about how the man in the moon smelled my stinky feet and fell off. Not to bad for a first grader.
Well writing a book is much more difficult than writing a poem. I have a bunch of poems that I have written. Some were pretty good. Okay, minus the one from first grade. I have so many ideas swirling in my head but I am not sure where to begin or what should be in the middle or the end. I am sure the first book is the hardest to write. It being fiction should make it a little easier, I have a little wiggle room to make up some of my facts.
The continuity of the story is the hardest part. My trick, even through college, is to create a time line. I mean an actual line and put times and dates on it so that I can place the events in the right order. This did help me with my senior thesis. I would be lost without my time lines.
My favorite part of writing is making the characters up. I can make them look any way I want them to. I can give them any personality traits I choose and I can create a whole world any way I want. That is the fun part for me. I am still nervous about writing something as long as a book. So far the longest papers I have written were papers for my classes, and most of those were based on fact since I was a political science major.
I am very excited to start on this new endeavor. It is something I have wanted to do forever and now I get my chance to really do it. I am getting my chance to live, love, and laugh.
Well writing a book is much more difficult than writing a poem. I have a bunch of poems that I have written. Some were pretty good. Okay, minus the one from first grade. I have so many ideas swirling in my head but I am not sure where to begin or what should be in the middle or the end. I am sure the first book is the hardest to write. It being fiction should make it a little easier, I have a little wiggle room to make up some of my facts.
The continuity of the story is the hardest part. My trick, even through college, is to create a time line. I mean an actual line and put times and dates on it so that I can place the events in the right order. This did help me with my senior thesis. I would be lost without my time lines.
My favorite part of writing is making the characters up. I can make them look any way I want them to. I can give them any personality traits I choose and I can create a whole world any way I want. That is the fun part for me. I am still nervous about writing something as long as a book. So far the longest papers I have written were papers for my classes, and most of those were based on fact since I was a political science major.
I am very excited to start on this new endeavor. It is something I have wanted to do forever and now I get my chance to really do it. I am getting my chance to live, love, and laugh.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
The Hidden Person
I loved my mom, I still love my mom. She passed in September 2008 and not too long before she passed she shared the story of her life, a story I never knew. I knew my mom for 44 years and there was a part of her she kept hidden. A part that was so far down inside her that anyone who knew her would never have been able to guess.
Obviously, my mom faced a battle every day of her life since she was a child. The only thing I really knew of my mother was the face she allowed me to see every day. But there was so much more underneath. There was a place deep inside her where she pushed all of the bad things in her life, a place I didn't know existed until just before her death.
When I was young I was not very close to my mother, I though she wasn't interested in having a daughter. I believed that I only got in her way. I lived with my mother and my grandmother. My father was gone when I was one year old and never looked back. My grandmother was more like my mom and my mom more like my sister. I never knew there was so much more to that then I knew. I loved my mom but she wasn't around all that much. My mom spent all of her time away from the house and me.
As I got older she and I became much closer. My grandmother passed away and mom and I only had each other. My mother was eventually diagnosed with Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) due to a chemical accident. She eventually required a lung transplant. After this transplant, my mother was never really recovered. I guess she knew she was dying and she needed to clear her conscience.
She apologized to me. Yes, she really apologized to me, her daughter, for everything she had said and done during her life. She started with when she was young, I mean three years young. She said by the time she was five she had more sexual experience then an old woman. This was courtesy of her father. By the time she was 18 she married my father to get away from her abusive father. Of course, like I said, by the time I was one year old he was so busy with other women he forgot about me and mom.
My mother struggled with the demons of her childhood. I had no idea until she told me that her mother, my loving wonderful grandmother, was so domineering that she refused to allow my mother to care for me. My mother also told me that my grandmother had known what her father did to her when she was young and never did anything to stop it. What a struggle she must have gone through. My heart just went out to her.
This story that she told me, explained so much. It also changed my world. I understood what caused my mother to do the things she did, say the things she did, and behave the way she did. I loved my mother but now I really understood her.
If you take nothing away from this story, I want you to remember that what you see is not always what is really there. Everyone has a story, as story that makes them who they are. I guess ultimately what I am trying to say is...never judge a book by it's cover.
I miss you mom and I love you.
Obviously, my mom faced a battle every day of her life since she was a child. The only thing I really knew of my mother was the face she allowed me to see every day. But there was so much more underneath. There was a place deep inside her where she pushed all of the bad things in her life, a place I didn't know existed until just before her death.
When I was young I was not very close to my mother, I though she wasn't interested in having a daughter. I believed that I only got in her way. I lived with my mother and my grandmother. My father was gone when I was one year old and never looked back. My grandmother was more like my mom and my mom more like my sister. I never knew there was so much more to that then I knew. I loved my mom but she wasn't around all that much. My mom spent all of her time away from the house and me.
As I got older she and I became much closer. My grandmother passed away and mom and I only had each other. My mother was eventually diagnosed with Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) due to a chemical accident. She eventually required a lung transplant. After this transplant, my mother was never really recovered. I guess she knew she was dying and she needed to clear her conscience.
She apologized to me. Yes, she really apologized to me, her daughter, for everything she had said and done during her life. She started with when she was young, I mean three years young. She said by the time she was five she had more sexual experience then an old woman. This was courtesy of her father. By the time she was 18 she married my father to get away from her abusive father. Of course, like I said, by the time I was one year old he was so busy with other women he forgot about me and mom.
My mother struggled with the demons of her childhood. I had no idea until she told me that her mother, my loving wonderful grandmother, was so domineering that she refused to allow my mother to care for me. My mother also told me that my grandmother had known what her father did to her when she was young and never did anything to stop it. What a struggle she must have gone through. My heart just went out to her.
This story that she told me, explained so much. It also changed my world. I understood what caused my mother to do the things she did, say the things she did, and behave the way she did. I loved my mother but now I really understood her.
If you take nothing away from this story, I want you to remember that what you see is not always what is really there. Everyone has a story, as story that makes them who they are. I guess ultimately what I am trying to say is...never judge a book by it's cover.
I miss you mom and I love you.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Lions and Tigers and Bears! Oh my!
Well, okay, maybe not Lions and Tigers and Bears, but how about cats and dogs and hamsters? Why should you have a pet? For one thing they can lower your blood pressure, this has been scientifically proven. Stroking a dog or cat slowly can lower your blood pressure as well as sitting and just watching fish swim around an aquarium.
Did you know that people who own pets are more likely to live longer? Another true fact. Pets increase one's stamina and to makes people feel needed. I am sure suicides have been prevented by pets. Who else could care for them or love them as much as their owner (companion). And how can you not feel a calmness come over you when you are sitting there stewing in anger and your cat jumps on your lap and rubs against you and starts to purr.
How about when you feel really down, broken hearted, sad, and blue and your pup drops a ball or toy at your feet and stars patiently at you as if to say "here this is for you." Animals may cause a little extra work at home but they also help motivate us to get up and move instead of sitting and staring all day long or coming home from work flopping in a chair and dwelling over the day's annoyances.
Why should you have a pet? Because they bring joy into your life. They help you to live, love and laugh.
Did you know that people who own pets are more likely to live longer? Another true fact. Pets increase one's stamina and to makes people feel needed. I am sure suicides have been prevented by pets. Who else could care for them or love them as much as their owner (companion). And how can you not feel a calmness come over you when you are sitting there stewing in anger and your cat jumps on your lap and rubs against you and starts to purr.
How about when you feel really down, broken hearted, sad, and blue and your pup drops a ball or toy at your feet and stars patiently at you as if to say "here this is for you." Animals may cause a little extra work at home but they also help motivate us to get up and move instead of sitting and staring all day long or coming home from work flopping in a chair and dwelling over the day's annoyances.
Why should you have a pet? Because they bring joy into your life. They help you to live, love and laugh.
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